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Have you ever noticed how your horse’s behaviour can change unexpectedly — becoming tense, spooky, or disengaged?  

What if these signs were a deeper message?  

Instead of seeing them as setbacks, these behaviours could be an opportunity to strengthen the trust and connection between you and your horse.

Recognizing the Challenges 

When your horse becomes tense, it’s more than just behaviour — it’s a reflection of their emotional state. A tense horse may be: 

• On high alert or reacting to the smallest stimuli; 
• Reacting from pain; 
• Overwhelmed. 

Similarly, a horse that spooks isn’t being “difficult”; these reactions often stem from: 

• Fear, insecurity, or lack of confidence; 
• A moment of surprise that can feel scary for both of you; 
• Trigger stacking — small stresses building to a major reaction. 

Lastly, a lack of motivation — if your horse seems lethargic or uninterested — might indicate: 

• Loss of interest; 
• Time with you is too boring or repetitive;
• Foundational pieces are missing.

These challenges share a common root: a disconnect between you and your horse. Rebuilding that connection is the first step in addressing all of them. 

1. The Calm Connection: The Foundation of Transformation 

At the heart of every strong partnership with your horse is a calm connection. It’s about building trust and understanding that helps your horse feel secure, focused, and motivated.  

A calm connection means your horse is both calm enough to think through cues and exercises and connected to you so that they are focused and safe. 

6 Calm Connection Exercises 

• Square 
• S Pattern 
• Boomerang 
• Spirals 
• Move with Me and Yield 
• 360 with a Twist 

Each exercise has a different purpose and helps in a different way. For example, S Pattern works great if there is something that is spooking or distracting your horse. Square exercise works well for horses that are anxious or having a hard time standing still and is great for helping settle general nerves or tension.  

The Square Exercise  

The Square Exercise is key for establishing passive leadership and calm connection. It’s a movement-based exercise you can repeat until your horse is relaxed and understanding. 

1. Choose a side to lead your horse from and start walking a straight line — a straight line helps to prevent pushing against each other and provides clarity. 

2. Make 90-degree turns (square turns) away from your horse with your horse shaping around you, so if you are on the left side of your horse go left, and if on the right go right.  

Here’s how to maximize the Square Exercise: 

• Use the Connection Point: Place your hand on the connection point at the base of your horse’s neck and press as needed to help keep your horse’s shoulders out of your space and encourage more lateral shape on the corners. This helps keep you safe, prevents your horse from stepping on your feet, and helps your horse relax more because it encourages lateral bend which releases tension.  
• Purposeful Turning: Using turns to refocus your horse rather than blocking, pulling, etc., helps your horse naturally want to follow you and relax because it’s more like the way horses communicate in the herd. Turn your horse if they are too fast, distracted, or if you want to. 
• Flexibility Over Perfection: While the exercise is named for its shape, it’s the turns that matter. This means if you have a very fast or distracted horse, your square size might be the size of a postage stamp, but if you have a slow horse, you might walk the whole side of the arena before turning.  
• Play "Catch the Ear": Think of this exercise as a game. Your goal is to catch your horse’s attention every few seconds. Use the turns to gently refocus them. 
• Stop when you have relaxation and understanding: This might mean making two square turns and then you are finished or using square for several minutes or even longer if something is upsetting your horse. 

The Journey to Harmony 

Calming the storm in your horse’s behaviour starts with building a calm connection. With this foundational step, what once felt like setbacks — tension, spookiness, and lack of motivation — become opportunities for growth. 

Learn more with Harmony Horsemanship and try the 7 Days to a Better Partnership with Your Horse course which provides lifetime access, step-by-step instruction, multiple calm connection exercises, and support to build trust and confidence in your partnership.